Have you ever heard of “toxic positivity”? Post pandemic, it’s a term that gained a lot of attention, especially on social media. It’s when positivity is used to such an extent that it dismisses and minimizes genuine human emotions. In thinking through toxic positivity vs optimism, they may seem similar, but there are some specific differences. Imagine telling someone who’s going through a tough time to “just stay positive” or “look on the bright side.” It might sound helpful, but it can actually make them feel like their feelings aren’t valid.
As mothers, wives, daughters, sisters and friends we are constantly juggling a variety of different responsibilities, all while striving to stay positive in times of adversity. It can be a challenge determining the difference between toxic positivity – which is rooted in fear-based thoughts; and genuine optimism – which allows us to look forward with hope and understanding. Understanding the difference between toxic positivity and optimism is crucial. It helps us to support ourselves and others in a healthier and more empathetic way.
We must learn how to navigate this fine line by recognizing our own emotional needs better so that we can support ourselves as well as those around us more positively. In this blog post I will explore the differences between toxic positivity and genuine optimism — and reveal actionable tips for replacing judgmental behavior with empathy.
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What is Toxic Positivity and Why Should We Avoid it
Toxic positivity, on the surface, sounds like a good thing. After all, being positive is usually seen as a desirable attribute. However, when positivity becomes toxic, it can do serious harm. Toxic positivity is an exaggerated and obsessive focus on being positive, to the point where negative emotions and experiences are denied and suppressed. It’s the idea that no matter how tough things get, you should always maintain a sunny disposition. But life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, right? We all face challenges and feel down sometimes, and that’s perfectly okay.
An example of toxic positivity is telling someone who has just lost a loved one to “look on the bright side” or to “be happy they’re in a better place now.” This kind of response invalidates the person’s very real, very difficult emotions, and can cause them to feel like their feelings are not valid or normal. It’s an avoidance mechanism that prevents us from dealing with our emotions head-on.
Signs of toxic positivity include being dismissive or invalidating of negative emotions and experiences, and encouraging others to ignore or bottle up their emotions. So, while it’s great to be positive leader and have a positive outlook on life, it’s also important to acknowledge and respect all our feelings, not just the happy ones. Ultimately, it’s important to recognize and avoid toxic positivity in order to create a safe and healthy space for emotional expression.
What is Optimism and How is it Different from Toxic Positivity?
Optimism, as a concept, is like a warm ray of sunshine on a cloudy day. It’s the belief that good things will happen, no matter what obstacles we face. It’s the lens through which we see the world, tinted with hope and positivity. Genuine optimism and positive thinking, involves acknowledging negative emotions and taking steps towards creating a positive outcome. But it’s more than just a feel-good term. Research has shown that optimism has tangible benefits for our mental health.
A study conducted on high school students showed that positive psychology interventions, such as story reading, led to improvements in students’ optimism, happiness, and positive emotions. It also resulted in a reduction in depression, anxiety, pessimism, and other negative emotions over a 5-week period. This suggests that optimism can be nurtured and has a direct impact on our mental well-being.
Understanding the difference between toxic positivity and optimism is crucial in recognizing and the success in navigating our emotional landscape. It’s important to practice optimistic thinking, which involves finding the silver lining in difficult situations, while also allowing yourself to feel a range of emotions. By cultivating genuine optimism and embracing optimistic emotions, you can create a more positive and fulfilling outlook on life.
Benefits of Practicing Genuine Optimism
The benefits of optimism extend beyond our mental health. Practicing genuine optimism can bring about a plethora of advantages. Optimistic thinking can help to reduce stress and anxiety, boost self-esteem, and improve overall mental health. Additionally, optimistic individuals tend to have a more positive outlook on life, which can lead to better relationships with others and a better perspective on challenges.
Optimism doesn’t mean ignoring life’s troubles. Instead, it’s about approaching those challenges with a positive outlook, believing in our ability to navigate through them. It’s about seeing the glass as half full, not half empty. As well as focusing on solutions, not problems. It’s about seeing opportunities in challenges, not setbacks.
It’s associated with better physical health, stronger social relationships, and higher levels of productivity and satisfaction in various areas of life. There is a ripple effect – when we’re optimistic, we’re happier, and that happiness spreads to other areas of our life, creating a cycle of positivity.
In a world that can often seem filled with negativity, optimism is our beacon of hope. It’s our guide to a happier, healthier life. Because optimism isn’t just a mindset, it’s a way of life.
Having an optimistic personality trait means having a hopeful attitude towards the future and believing that good things can happen. These thoughts and beliefs can manifest into optimistic emotions, such as joy, gratitude, and contentment. By actively practicing genuine optimism, individuals can reap these benefits and improve their overall well-being.
Steps to Turn Toxic Positivity Into Optimism
For many of us, being optimistic and positive comes naturally. However, constantly pushing ourselves to maintain that optimistic front can often lead us down a path of toxic positivity, where we ignore or suppress our authentic emotions. Here are a few steps and strategies to turn toxic positivity into optimism and stay grounded in your authentic emotion.
Recognizing and Acknowledging Emotions
It’s crucial to recognize and acknowledge our holistic emotions, not just our positive ones. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows, and that’s okay. It’s normal for you to feel sad, angry, or anxious sometimes. These feelings are part of being human. When we try to suppress or ignore them, we’re practicing toxic positivity. Instead, we should allow ourselves to feel these emotions without judgment. It’s like sitting with a friend who’s going through a tough time. You don’t dismiss their feelings; you listen and empathize. Do the same with your emotions.
Validating Emotions
Also, emotional validation of others plays a significant role in this process. It’s about not only accepting your feelings but understanding that your friends, family, and colleagues feelings are valid, regardless of what they are. For instance, if you’re colleague is feeling upset because they didn’t get a promotion, don’t brush it off with phrases like “On the bright side, you still have a job.” Instead, acknowledge their disappointment and allow them to feel it. It’s about being a support system and outlet. This step is not about wallowing in negative emotions, but about giving them the space they deserve.
Practice Gratitude
Next, let’s talk about gratitude. It’s a powerful tool for fostering genuine optimism. Research shows that gratitude can act as a buffer against daily hassles and improve life satisfaction. It’s about appreciating what you have, from the big things like a loving family, to the small ones like a warm cup of coffee in the morning. Make it a habit to write down three things you’re grateful for each day. This simple practice can significantly shift your perspective from negativity to optimism.
Give Yourself Permission to Feel
Recognize that it’s okay to feel low sometimes. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions and work through them. It’s important to realize that being an optimistic person doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. Instead, it’s about giving yourself the grace to embrace both the good and the bad emotions that come your way.
Take a Look at Your Inner Circle
Surround yourself with positive influences that allow you to express your genuine feelings without fear of judgment. The people in your life can be a benefit or a hinderance to you expressing your emotions. These are people who also feel comfortable expressing their feelings and can create a mutually expressive positive environment.
Incorporate these practices into your daily life. Start your day with a gratitude journal, practice mindfulness to stay present and connected with your emotions, and remind yourself that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. Over time, these steps can help you cultivate a sense of optimism that’s grounded in reality, not just a facade of positivity.
Final Thoughts
In order to cultivate healthy, empathetic relationships with others, it is important to focus on building optimistic emotions and fostering positive thinking. However, it is equally important to recognize the potential dangers of toxic positivity. Examples of toxic positivity include denying feelings of sadness or anger and always insisting on looking at the bright side. True empathy requires acknowledging and validating others’ emotions, even if they are not positive. By cultivating a balance of positive thinking and negative emotions and thoughts, we can create more meaningful and fulfilling relationships with those around us.
The key takeaway? It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. Embrace your emotions, all of them. Remember, optimism isn’t about ignoring the negative but about holding onto hope in the face of adversity.
Practicing genuine optimism can have a positive impact on your daily life, giving you the insight into yourself, as well as getting out of toxic mindset patterns. By recognizing signs that you’re being too positive, understanding the difference between toxic positivity and real optimism allows us to create healthier relationships with ourselves and a positive affect on those around us.
Next time you feel like you want to numb your authentic emotions and reach for a too-positive coping skill, try instead replacing it with steps that help ground you in the present moment. Remembering to be present in moments of gratitude towards yourself or others can help keep your relationships strong. With an optimistic mindset, we can have healthier connections and cultivate empathy between each other.
Taking part in self care practices and utilizing tools such as the Balanced Beauty Lover newsletter are great steps for staying informed and further exploring the power of genuine optimism and confidence.